On 101 uses for a 10' pole

101 uses for a 10' pole

1. You can use it to sweep the ground in front of you for tripwires and pressure plates. 
2. You can use it to assist you in mapping by measuring the walls.
3. You can use it to remotely open or prod chests or levers.
4. You can probe liquids and slimes.
5. You can use it to jam between to walls closing in on you.
6. You can use it to place across a pit or ledge to walk across.
7. You can strike it against the ground to make a noise to help determine the size of rooms or announce your presence.
8. You can tie a prisoner to it to assist in carrying them.
9. Helmet on a stick.
10. You can use it to vault over dangers.
11. It can be sharpened and turned into a makeshift spear.
12. It can replace the haft of a broken weapon.
13. In a pinch, it can be converted into a makeshift ladder.
14. The cleric can decide that it's the holy symbol of his god.
15. You can use it to prod or whack other party members who annoy you.
16. You can use it to push climbers who are halfway up a wall.
17. You can interpose it between yourself and dangerous monsters.
18. You can dangle it down into pits to help people get out of traps.
19. You can string a line around the end and use it to fish.
20. It can be used to increase your carrying capacity by tying balanced bags on either end and carting them on your shoulders. 
21. You can open unlocked doors from a distance.
22. You can use it to check dead bodies to make sure they aren't zombies.
23. In an emergency it can be used to stake a vampire.
24. You can also shove it up someones ass. Sideways if you really don't like them.
25. You can also use it to poke dead monsters and wizards in the eye to make sure they are dead.
26. You can use it as a lever to lift more weight than normally possible, helping you topple statues.
27. You can use it to stir a cauldron or big pot.
28. You can slice it into small discs and paint them gold or turn them into metal.
29. You can break it in half to beat an unruly henchmen or hireling.
30. You can agitate a pond or lake and see what comes to investigate.
31. It can be thrown like a javelin to hit a switch or something out of reach.
32. You can use it like a cane in the darkness to help you navigate.
33. You can paint it dark grey or make it invisible and jam it across the conveniently 10' wide halls when being pursued by monsters. 
34. You can use it to pole a craft across a lake or river.
35. You can use it to determine the length or depth of crevices, niches, ponds, fountains, etc.
36. You can tie a light party member to the end and use it to lift him up or across something.
37. Better yet, it's where you can keep your chickens. Tied to the end of the pole. 
38. It can be used as a locking bar to bar a door shut.
39. You can cast a light spell or tie a lantern on the end of the pole to extend the distance of your vision.
40. You can knock on doors and windows from a very safe distance.
41. You can tie a mirror to the end to safely see over the tops of walls and ledges.
42. You can use it to prod floors, ceilings, chests, and cloaks to test for trappers, mimics, and cloakers.
43. You can thread the end and have a spade or hammer attachment, to avoid having to carry the extra tools
44. You can have a collapsible or segmented pole for that extra 1' of length if you need it.
45. You can jam it between the walls and swing on it to add force to a kick.
46. You can use it to trip opponents in melee with fighters.
47. You can use it to disrupt a light source or knock something off a ledge on a wall.
48. You can set the end on fire. For fun.
49. You can mark it with notches to keep track of directions, intersections, kills, or the number of times the wizard has insulted the fighter without him noticing. 
50. You can use it to roast your opponents once you kill them, over a nice warm fire. There's no better feeling than turning your enemies into poop and ideas.
51. You can in extreme instances use it to test for unusual heat or cold or gravitational fluctuations.
52. If a door opens out into a vacuum or tries to suck you through, you can use the pole across the door to keep from getting pulled away.
53. A 10' pole can double as a base for a shelter in the wilderness, as the center of a lean to.
54. A collection of 10' poles can be used to roll large statues or other valuable items.
55. 10' poles can serve as replacement levers or spokes for machines you might run into in the dungeon.
56. Breaking clay pots to look for rupees.
57. Clearing out cobwebs and spider webs without setting them on fire. 
58. You can strap two ten foot poles to your feet and be 16 feet tall.
59. Writing down a 10' pole on your character sheet gives you options outside of skill checks.
60. It can be used to balance while walking a tightrope or other high narrow ledge.
61. You can use it to start a fire if there's no wood.
62. Nothing says the pole can't be made from metal.
63. A metal pole can be used as a lightning rod.
64. A hollow metal pole can be used as an air-tube while underwater.
65. You can tie all the parties livestock to the pole to keep them from running off.
66. You can tie a flag to the end and use it to communicate over long distances or perform a really sick flag routine.
67. Kender control. By the judicious application of bruises. 
68. You can offer it to a giant as a toothpick.
69. Gives all those beautiful women you rescue from the dungeon a pole to assist with their dance routines. 
70. A 10' pole allows you to easily interact with and test for illusions. 
71. You can tie a rope to it and use it braced against something to descend safely.
72. If you have to turn over all your weapons, it's unlikely they will try to take your walking stick.
73. You can use it to play games with children or monsters, like limbo or stickball.
74. It can be jammed in an arrow slit to block the archer's ability to fire. 
75. You can use it to give you leverage to bend bars or lift gates.
76. Two of them can be used as a makeshift stretcher.
77. A cloth can be draped across it as a privacy screen.
78. You can knock over anthills and break open hives with it.
79. Tie meat to the end to feed hungry wild animals while staying out of melee range.
80. Convince the wizard to enchant it so that it won't break and it will give you a bonus on your saves.
81. Put a funny horses head on it and pretend you are riding a horse to entertain a bored prince.
82. Use it to lift up kilts and skirts from a distance.
83. Use it to beat the sexist a--hole who's looking up kilts and skirts from a distance.
84. Tie a cloth and wire to the end to use it as a makeshift umbrella.
85. Start a bar fight between to patrons at a safe distance.
86. Tie a sprinkler on the end to disperse various toxic and alchemical substances. 
87. Tie strings to it while camping and attack a bell for a rudimentary alarm system.
88. Three words: Improvised Whirlwind Attack. At least as useful as the feat.
89. Use the pole to disrupt the integrity of magic circles. 
90. Yell "I'm not touching you" when you poke someone with the pole to turn them hostile.
91. It can be hollowed out and used as a musical instrument.
92. Impromptu ballastie ammo.
93. It's really the first step to designing your very own polearm.
94. Use it to play fetch with dire wolves.
95. The best solution for carrying 100 gold pieces of hemp rope.
96. It can be used as a legal option for a very non-lethal duel.
97. Long-range defenestration.
98. Good for collecting giant ants out of a giant anthill
99. Better to use a pole to dig through trash and refuse than your hands.
100. Give it to the wizard so he can better estimate exactly how far 20 feet is, and finally. . .
101. You can lean against it when your dogs are tired.

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On 10 Ways To Open A Chest

"But assuming it was a treasure hunting expedition (and the lower floors of the tower were reasonably cleared, with a path of escape blocked only by wandering monster rolls) what would a party need to do in one of your games to safely open a chest?"

Here are 10 ways to open a chest safely!

10. Pour acid in the lock.
9. Use a pick and chisel to break apart the lock mechanism.
8. Use a crowbar and specialized tools to pry the lock out of the chest.
7. Saws!
6. Carry the chest back to town and pay the thieves guild to open it.
5. Hammers!
4. Knock!
3. Unscrew the lid hinges.
2. Pry off the back of the lid!

And the number one way to open a chest safely?

1. Have the thief open it, there's always more where they came from!

Why don't they just do these things by default? They are time consuming, loud, or require heavy encumbrance penalties.

On the Top Ten Tactics for Hostile Dungeons

10. Lard/Grease: Whether a squeaky door, a greased staircase before a fight, or assisting with opening rusty and old latches, having some lard and grease is always useful.
9. Tiny birds: A lot of times, you'd like to see what would happen if someone went somewhere, only you don't trust it enough to go. With this small sack of birds, you can check for traps, trade to people for passage, notice if the air is toxic, or even distract unintelligent opponents. Taking them along extends your life, at the expense of theirs.
8. Paying attention: At its core, Dungeons & Dragons is about exploring a resonant fantasy realm filled with archetypal representations. This process is handled by conversation using the Socratic method. You ask questions, the Dungeon Master gives answers, yeah? If you're not asking questions or listening, you're watching your friends play Dungeons and Dragons. When you all jump in and work together, it raises the experience for all involved.
7. Gloves & Helmet: If you don't have to touch something with your bare hands, don't. Don't press parts of your body (like ears or eyes) against things. You call people that don't wear covers corpses. Get a hat, preferably one made out of metal that lets you see in the dark, grants telepathy, or makes you smart or something. There very well might be treasure in the garbage or latrine, there almost certainly is, but you don't want to go in there yourself.
6. Equipment shenanigans. Casting a light spell on a shield lets you see opponents and plays havoc with enemy archers. Buy a metal sectioned pole, so you can attach a hook, vary length, and carry one in cramped quarters. Collect potions and scrolls and don't hesitate to use them, there's always more magic to find.
5. Hammer & Piton: It holds doors both closed AND open. It draws a lot of attention. It allows you to attach rope to things. They solve problems.
4. Torchbearers & Porters: Yes it's difficult to convince them to head into dangerous territories, but when there are a lot of things that need to be done, having a man or two around who can do them is helpful. Purchase them brightly colored festive outfits. Give them nets and poles to trip up enemies, ball bearings, oil, caltrops and other things they can throw. They can pull people to safety and best of all, they draw archer fire. People don't get into this vocation because they want a safe workplace.
3. Elves & Dwarves: Everyone loves their half-demon, half-cat, half-turtle, kenku-whatever sub race, but facts remain. You want an elf for secret door detection and a dwarf for detecting stonework traps and sliding doors. Often they can see in the dark. If you don't have one in your party, hire one in town as a buddy.
2. Oil: You don't want to need it and not have it. If you want to be sure something is dead, burn it to ash.
1. Ten-Foot Pole: You will want to touch things and not be near them. Trust me.

I hope you explore some fun dungeons this weekend!

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On the Top Ten Sandbox Locations.

You're in a D&D sandbox, you look around and find:

10. A giant rock carved like a skull. Cultists are rumored to lair there, and at night, sometimes the eyes glow as if it is possessed (or more likely that torchlight is reflected). Perhaps there are many levels of this dark place below.
9. A wizard's tower where strange lights and sounds emanate from realms beyond. Not many people would risk their souls in a wizards tower.
8. Rumors of great treasure and a hidden artifact are said to lie under caverns in the nearby hills. None who have survived the search have been successful.
7. A chateau is the home of a quite dysfunctional royal family with such wealth and power!
6. An old house, upon a hill. It's said to be haunted, those are just childrens tales. Yet people have gone missing and there are sometimes mysterious comings and goings.
5. A castle, ran by a reclusive old man. Rumors swirl about demons and blood magic being performed, but who can tell these days?
4. The ancient and hidden tomb of a malign creature. Those who have found it and returned, speak of death and horrible traps and mysteries.
3. In the nearby foothills are large buildings, several of them, of primitive make. Sometimes, if you watch, you can see a large shadow of some creature. Trolls or giants perhaps, surely. You've heard of the raids nearby.
2. A ruined moathouse, falling apart. Be careful of the large toads and collapsed roofs.
1. A small keep, with good folk, an amusing village idiot, and a respectable brick wall. It's also possible their ale is both well-brewed and affordable. They also are rather fond of folks, who happen to be of a certain sort of miscreant or wanderer. There's surely a cleric around, but I wouldn't trust him.

This list, along with any of these three hexes from ChicagoWiz, and you got yourself a game, ready to run.

If you think I'm a good writer, reward me yeah? You get rewarded yourself! You don't only get the feeling of doing something nice, you get some neat stuff, like discord roles and high def art.

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On 10 Reasons for the Wizard's Tower

Why do Wizards hang out in towers?

10. Symbolism! The tower is an ancient symbol of arrogance and hubris. Look at how high my tower reaches over my demense! Behold my power and glory!

9. Isolationism! Towers represent the idea of someone who wishes to remove themselves from polite society. They are above it.

8. Fortification! There is only one entrance. In order to invade, you must storm up the stairs. There is literally less square surface area to enchant/protect.

7. Visibility! If you wield vast cosmic power, you wouldn't want anyone approaching to be able to hide from you, no?

6. Display of Power! It takes knowledge, engineering and know-how to build a tower, otherwise every peasant would do it.

5. Protection! Robbery, Home Invasion, and Murder were commonplace. Nobody can just break into a tower -- the separation and height protect it from stealthy infiltration.

4. Power! Ley lines and magical sources are more corrupted near the ground. The higher the tower the more energy is available.

3. Peace and Quiet! Being up in the air like that gives you some distance from whatever distracting hustle and bustle is on the ground.

2. Freedom! It's cheaper then a castle and there's no lawn or grounds! Upkeep is easy and they can avoid all those distracting mundane tasks that they are forced to engage in.

1. Safety! It provides protection and a convenient excuse for all those irate peasants who are certain that you are the reason all their cows are sick.

And the number one reason for wizards to live in towers --

It's the most efficient layout for storing all their damn books!

Frog God games recently published my opus Alchemy. In it contains a list of magical mortars you can use to enchant castle and tower walls. It's incredibly dense in content. And it's a real book, with a real limited print run. You should check it out and get it on your shelf before they are all gone.

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On the 10 (ish) Best Versions Of Dungeons and Dragons

You would think that would be a totally insane topic for a blog post. And yet somehow, the problem is chopping it down to 10!

10.) Adventurer, Conqueror, King: Taking the greatest gaming system of all time (B/X) and reconfiguring it to make sure the math makes sense all the way up to the domain level?

9.) Basic Fantasy: It isn't just the B/X inspired simple gameplay, or the modified sections such as race and class, it's the ridiculously supported online download section.

9.) Ambition & Avarice: This is the third wave OSR, the new wave. Taking modern design and layout sensibilities to a new product based on an old idea, comes a game that is really a fresh look.

8.) Castles & Crusades: D20 D&D simplified? It's greatest strength is that any d20 material requires no conversion. Fast, and the SEIGE system is pretty ingenious.

7.) Labyrinth Lord: The Gold standard in free retro-clones. One minor advantage over B/X is that all the text is in one book. Of course all the XP tables are redone. Labyrinth Lord compatibility is code for "This is compatible with D&D!"

7:) Lamentations of the Flame Princess: A beautiful treatise on the nature of Dungeons & Dragons. A smooth, intuitive ruleset. No hiccups, no bumps. Great for lower power, real world, weird campaigns. Metal artwork. The edition everyone loves to hate.

6.) Dungeon Crawl Classics: The edition of the game Goodman wants to play! Weird dice and weirder random tables makes, much like the game it ties with, for a game focused on "A good time at the table!" rather than rules that conceptually make sense or focus on verisimilitude.

6.) Advanced Dungeons & Dragons: "Random chance plays a huge part in everybody's life." -Gary Gygax

5.) Original Dungeons & Dragons: Well, if this doesn't inspire you to do your own imagining. . .

4.) Pathfinder: This is the present of gaming. Pathfinder players are possibly the largest group of publicly playing players of any edition, ever. How's that OGL working out for you now, WotC?

3.) BECMI: The version they won't put into print, because no one will ever need another version of D&D again!

2.) Hackmaster 4e: The first original retroclone does Dungeons & Dragons better than nearly any version ever released. Really! It is the greatest!


1.) Basic/Expert: There is no version that is both a better introduction to role-playing, an effective tool for use while playing, and something that supports your imagination.

This post was originally published on 8/30/13. If it were written today, Old School Essentials and Mork Borg would probably be on the list. There are still a lot of people playing Pathfinder, but fifth edition Dungeons & Dragons has taken it over! Support me on Patreon and help 2021 be a better year for having each other in our lives! This post is thick with affiliate links. 

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