I've got a lot on my mind.
Did you know you can have two contradictory thoughts at the same time? Or that there is no other single human on the planet that shares your thoughts and beliefs?
I'm doubly affected—a symptom of my mental illness is, uh, the diagnostic manual calls it "Have flat emotions or have emotional responses that are limited or not proper socially."
Well, I can tell you, that it's because both my awareness and concern about what other people think is a huge fucking goose egg. When I learned about peer culture, I thought it was a lie.
I did think about it in terms of violence, of course.
I keep getting these people accusing me of using AI to produce my drawings. I've got nothing against AI art, or AI products. But I drew all the pictures for Sinless by hand. They are in the same style I've been drawing in for the last thirty years. He asked where he could find more of my work. I told him to start with the mural I painted in Kimple Hall at the University of Arkansas and then work his way forward through my career from there.
The thing is, it doesn't have to do with the work. The words of the accusation are just noise. I'm not saying it's 'non-cognitivism'. I'm saying it's a call. A trumpet, or a song. An identity vocalization. And the call, it's just, not new.
Back in 2010, I had people accusing me of using map programs to draw my maps. The ones I drew live on twitch for Megadungeon.
I've read a lot of discourse about AI art. All I will personally say about my thoughts is this: "As a working artist I'm worried not at all". I'm certain everyone will draw their own conclusions and they will certainly be wrong. Knock yourself out.
If you're reading a conversation between people you know about AI, it's two people arguing about stuff they made up. It's the same with the abortion debate, gun control, or literally any other topic. If you're opening your mouth in public, you only express two things. Your complete and total ignorance of any of the reality of the issues at hand, and how important you've decided those issues are to how you think about yourself.
The fact that you are given these areas to confine yourself to and discuss among yourself is a system of regulation. Some might call that regulation control, or an exploitation of the traits of an organism. Say, a trait concerned about in-group/out-group dynamics and belonging and feeling.
Did you know some people have their corneas removed and can see in the ultraviolet spectrum? With their jelly vision-spheres? Did you ever spent time around another animal, and they just compulsively engage in a behavior that you have no direct frame of reference for? And you see them engaging in the behavior over and over, with no insight into their internal state?
It might be enough to drive a person mad.
The thing is, I see something different. I wrote a whole game about it (and ahda ahda he's on about the game again.) The use of religious imagery isn't accidental.
There is more than enough for everyone.
There's enough money.
There's enough food.
There's enough space.
There's technology available to manufacture and distribute anything we need anywhere on the planet.
The only reason things aren't better is because we decided.
Well, I mean, you decided.
Because, you know, for most people. Fixing the problems is less important than winning. And besides, if the problems were fixed, things might change for you. You might have to change or grow. You might feel diminished when faced with your own private experience being part of a planet among billions of suns among trillions of galaxies flowing in a river across the heavens.
I don't understand that. I can't win. I can't lose. I can't even feel a response to the opinions of other people. I'm not better or worse than anyone else—within my own sphere I'm struggling to do the best that I can.
Did you know people build lightsabers? It's an almost impossible engineering problem, and of net negative utility. But someone showed them something novel. Something new. And once they saw it, there was no obstacle that existed that would prevent the human organism from making it. It was dreamed into existence.
We live in a heaven or hell of our own making. And I guess I'm here for the show.
In the meanwhile, I'm going to imagine making better futures.