On 10 Interesting Books

The compendium II is imminent.

Church of the Titans: This coptic bound book has a cover made of aged and lacquered birch, covered in a worn and thin ancient cloth. It is bound with what appears to be snakeskin rope. The text describes various unheard of demigods that match no known culture or history. The text is in an ancient and archaic language. Scrawled notes lie in the margins in a strange and foreign language. If comprehend languages is cast it warns of the demigod coming to life and remaking the world to theirs if their entries are read.

The Sex Life of Goblins: New Theories: This limp bound book has a leather-like cover made from some unknown flesh. The original text seems to be written by an ancient sage, Penior-sung Kjarkutanson, and contains extensive investigation and discussion on the sexual and mating habits of Goblins. Two things are of note about the book. First is that goblins do not mate sexually, and are instead spawned in nature from the evil thoughts of men. Second, is that several dozen of the pages have had the writing scraped off and replaced with detailed and explicit pictures of sex acts of human people who have their heads replaced with the heads of goblins.

Abridged Essays of Naval Warfare: This leather bound sewn book, contains six "abridged" essays on naval warfare, by a variety of generals. The shortest of the essays is 80 pages, and the longest runs to 290. The Essays are as follows: Ships of Steel, Outmanuvered by Hormus Cang; The Art of Distance by Yaz Fitch; Profitable Privateering by Wylie "Parrot Charmer" Haul; Victories of the Line By Admiral Hurk; Windward Victories, By Gorthur Yanganglangfangman; and The Utility of Monsters of the Sea by the Sorcerer Guyee. Anyone who can manage to finish the book can then speak credibly on only mildly out of date military topics.

Wizardries for Magi: This smyth sewn book has strange flexible lattice covers. It covers a variety of esoteric theories of magic and drops hints about the mysterious author. The book contains several bookmarks and pieces of paper with notes which appear to indicate relations between passages that appear unrelated.

The Reproductive Habits of Demi-humans, An Illustrated Guide: This book is written in halting, strangely structured common, next to some unknown language. It is illustrated, somewhat badly, and nothing within the book seems to be an accurate depiction of any races sexuality.

An Expose of the Minor Dictators of the Frontiers: This short saddle-stitched book contains a one page reference for a variety of petty demi-humans and humanoids running bandit camps or who act as minor warlords or raiders. It is slightly out of date. There is a map stuck haphazardly in the book, upon which are several marks which may or may not indicate the location of some of these minor dictators.

The Cave of Transformations, by Zao: This long stitched book, covered in thin sheets of slate contains a philosophical treatise on the nature of spiritual advancement leading to physical change. It appears at first to make a very many powerful claims and follows that up with writing that makes it sound reasonable. Further reading is difficulty and hard to understand. Taking the effort to read the book reveals that it is primarily nonsense. Continuing to study the book provides insight that the writer, Zao, is a pseudonym and appears to be aware that the book is nonsense. There is a small note in the book that appears to contains some kind of code.

The Blessings of the Winter Gods: This is a small saddle-stitched book with a cloth cover, containing short psalms and prayers to minor winter gods. These petty divinities are active and value the worship and recitation of their blessings.

Ancient History of Ancient Art by Brad Folk: This strange book is sewn bound in strange hide and contains a well illustrated series of discussions on ancient artifacts. All of the artifacts are unfamiliar, as well as the cultures they describe. There are a series of notes from several well respected and living scholars in the margins discussing the nature of these essays, with no resolution.

Health, The Songs: A saddle stitched pamphlet with no cover of a series of songs that form a musical performance about bodily hygiene and health. It is simultaneously explicit, obvious, trite and repulsive. Selections include "How many things live in my mouth" "you say brush your hair, i say brush between your toes, he says use the same brush for both!" "Cleansing does an rectum good" "Cats have the right idea, let's clean each other with tongues" and "Bodily secretions are more useful outside than in".




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5 comments:

  1. I do like a good fantasy-library generator, but to be honest this looks like a slightly-re-formatted list from Seventh Sanctum - http://www.seventhsanctum.com/generate.php?Genname=bookspinner . Example (10 books, 30% chance of extras, include quality information):

    The Frontier's Histories

    This book is very clear because of the good diagrams. This clarity allows one to determine that it is reasonably useful. After a quick examination, one will find that the contents were probably taken from several works.
    Examining the book, one will find: Folded-down pages marking pages with similar information

    Shortbows: A New Examination of Manufacture

    This book is practacally incomprehensible due to there being no coherent organization whatsoever. If one miraculously managed to understand the book's contents, that person will find it has a lot useful information. Sadly, the contents are less than original.

    The Mating Habits of The Basilisk

    This book is of above-average clarity. A short look at the book will show that it has no useful information. Making the book virtually useless, it appears that that the majority of the contents were obviously taken from someone else's work
    Examining the book, one will find: Some notes concentrated in select sections of the book, that have nothing whatsoever to do with the book's contents.

    The Territory's Legendary Military Leaders

    This book is muddled. After some effort to read the book, one can find it has a lot useful information.

    A Report on the Earldom's Forgotten Ideological History

    This book is quite clear thanks to the good diagrams. A short look at the book will show that it is reasonably useful. After a quick examination, one will find that the concepts in the book do show a lot of original thought.
    Examining the book, one will find: Folded-down pages marking pages that seem to have no similar or related information Bookmarks marking pages with similar information.

    The Minor Murderers of the Earldoms

    This book is of average clarity. Perusing it will show that it has a lot useful information. Making it even more of a find, the contents have moments of intriguing originality.

    The Infamous Sayings of the Thief God

    This book is very clear. It doesnt take much effort to determine that it has no useful information. At least the ideas within are very original.

    The Infamous Nonbelievers of the Ruler Goddess

    This book is all but impossible to understand thanks to it having no kind of organization at all. If, by chance or skill, someone can unriddle the book, that person will find it is reasonably useful. After a quick examination, one will find that the contents are not very original.

    A Wyvern's Methods of Locomotion

    This book is all but impossible to understand because of terrible diagrams. If one miraculously managed to understand the book's contents, that person will find it has a lot useful information. Despite its good traits, the contents show some plagarism.
    Examining the book, one will find: A written dedication in the beginning .

    Regarding the Dutchy's Annals

    This book is impressively clear due to wonderful organization. It doesnt take much effort to determine that it has no useful information. The suffering reader will discover, with time, that the contents seem to have been stolen from another work.

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    Replies
    1. Yeah, that is totally the seed source. But instead of just randomly generating them, names and themes were added to make sure they were interesting instead of just random.

      You won't find:

      "This leather bound sewn book, contains six "abridged" essays on naval warfare, by a variety of generals. The shortest of the essays is 80 pages, and the longest runs to 290. The Essays are as follows: Ships of Steel, Outmanuvered by Hormus Cang; The Art of Distance by Yaz Fitch; Profitable Privateering by Wylie "Parrot Charmer" Haul; Victories of the Line By Admiral Hurk; Windward Victories, By Gorthur Yanganglangfangman; and The Utility of Monsters of the Sea by the Sorcerer Guyee. Anyone who can manage to finish the book can then speak credibly on only mildly out of date military topics."

      Or

      " It is simultaneously explicit, obvious, trite and repulsive. Selections include "How many things live in my mouth" "you say brush your hair, i say brush between your toes, he says use the same brush for both!" "Cleansing does an rectum good" "Cats have the right idea, let's clean each other with tongues" and "Bodily secretions are more useful outside than in"

      as output from a random generator.

      It also lacks explicit information on the binding and materials of each book, as well as being, well, random.

      Delete
    2. Of course, anyone who prefers or finds the listing you posted more interesting or useful is free to continue to use that.

      Delete
  2. I'm sorry, my previous post was a bit rude. I do appreciate that you've taken time to craft the entries on the list and that they are much more developed and detailed than the output of the Seventh Sanctum generator. And funnier. The humour on the random lists (if at all) tends to come from absurd juxtapositions that are useless in gameplay (because they are due to system failure in the way the list sorts info). Your humour comes from a human having thought of something funny.

    I use the random generator for stocking wizard/temple libraries when the PCs say 'OK, we search the shelves - anything of interest?' and I need 20 tomes in a hurry. I would use yours as more important items actually relating to the plot, because they're decidedly nicer.

    ReplyDelete

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