On The Top 10 Underplayed FLAILSNAILS Classes

For those that don't know, the Flailsnails Conventions are an implementation of the idea that you can take a single PC from game to game.

On with the list!

Too many fighters! Too many wizards! Let's see something more! Here are the top ten classes that are underplayed in FLAILSNAIL games! They are in the order of Whatever kind of order I want!

10.) Warlord! Use your powers of yelling really loud to screw enemies in combat. Healing, or a bonus to AC, or an extra attack, or more. As the first sentence of the class says, "Warlords are awesome and if you disagree then f**k you." What a metal class!

9.) Blue Mage! I wrote it. It's awesome. Gain the powers of your enemies by not dying when you get murderlized by them. Also, Necrophagy for fun and profit. Always fun at parties!

8.) Random Class! If you're going to play a basic class, why not play the awesome random version. Mostly by Zak. Fighter, Thief, Ranger, Wizard, Barbarian, and Paladin by Reynaldo

7.) The Mountebank! You're old! You've been playing D&D for (insert decade here) years. Why do you keep playing on easy mode? Here's a character who eventually can talk super convincingly. BEWARE ORCUS. 

6.) Tourist! Because it's a class that eerily is similar to what you are actually doing.

5.) Dandy! Because dressing well is the best defense. Also, who doesn't need someone in the party who can talk with sailors, homosexuals, prostitutes and aesthete monsters such as demimonde medusas, vampire flaneurs, and githyanki fops?

4.) Myconid! Because if you're reading this, and the idea of a mobile sentient depressed zombie and potion creating fungus doesn't appeal to you, you've got bigger problems in life than picking which class to play in a FLAILSNAILS game.

3.) Alice! Because everyone is a pretty princess sometimes. Wouldn't you like to feel a bit special?

2.) Vat Spawn! Guaranteed to start at least 1 in 4 arguments! Also, holy crap, what a sweet class.

And the number one, underplayed class across the FLAILSNAILS universe, the class that needs so much more attention then it gets, the crem de la crem, check out Ian Johnson's

1.) MUSCLE WIZARD!  "Muscle Wizards. . . instead regain spells by pumping weights and doing calisthenics. They do this instead of sleeping, which, while it does not have any mechanical effect, means that most Muscle Wizards are unpredictable and weird."

You must roll your next class off this list. LET THE AWESOMEIZATION BEGIN.


  1. I disbelieve this post. All right thinking persons know that there are in fact only four classes (three and two class offshoots of the gospel are also acceptable, if not spoken of in good company). The "N classes" heresy mush be rooted out!

  2. I seriously wish I had more time for FLAILSNAILS gaming just so I could run a Flying Swordsmen wuxia wizard in someone's dungeon sometime.

  3. I've always wanted to play as a dog. Not as a war-hound or anything, just a dog. Border Collie is preferred.

    1. @Scott

      I got you covered:


      Yes, it is called a war dog, but it should work for any kind of canine adventurer.

    2. Dogs are the best. -C, if you run another FLAILSNAILS Numenhalla game, can I play a dog??

    3. Scott> Play a psychic dog. Mad Bill can speak to dogs, after all.

  4. None of these are particularly more weird than the AD&D monk. Woohoo, I reached 5th level! Now I can... feign death.

  5. I've played one of Zak's random fighters -- well two, but one died right away -- in a FLAILSNAILS game, and I'd have played a Muscle Wizard™ if they'd been invented at the time!

  6. ...Thank you for hipping me to that random paladin and that glorious, glorious warlord.

  7. Playing a Blue Mage... killed some mega-plant fucker in Reynaldo's dungeon on Sunday after hitting it with my paralytic centipede bite... also learned a corrosive poison attack.

    Thanks for the Blue Mage, btw. I had been thinking to make the class for a while and couldn't rationalize a few mechanics.

  8. Yeah dog those muscle wizards were pretty cool I guess


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